Eclectica

Mostly cogent, most of the time.

All about ME

It’s namealike week on Facebook.

As the first Scott Andrews on gmail, I have the definitive Scott Andrews gmail address. The only problem with early adoption is that all the other Scott Andrewses have taken addresses like scott.andrews@ and scott-middleinitial-andrews@

Consequently, because we are an accident prone bunch, people often forget the qualifiers and I end up with email meant for all my not-quite-so-quick-to-jump-aboard-the-google-train namesakes.

So, in honour of namealikes week, here are my top five namesakes and the details of our email mixups. All true, folks!

Monday
Scott Andrews, politician
I am a member of the Canadian parliament representing the Liberal Party and the people of get this – Avalon! So back off Morgaine or I’ll play Robin Sparkles – Canada’s greatest teen pop idol sensation, like, ever – at you!
Email mixup Some guy from Halifax started emailing me his weekly Ice Hockey and local affairs columns, which I presume were not meant for the English me.

Tuesday
Scott Andrews, Associate Professor & Associate Chair, Department of English; Coordinator, American Indian Studies Program, California State University, Northridge
Today I have foresaken Canadian politics to become an enrolled member of the Cherokee nation of Oklahoma and a teacher. Read my guest blog on Teen Superheroes!
Email mixup This gentleman is probably the intended recipient of the UPS package tracking emails I occasionally receive.

Wednesday
Scott Andrews, the (other) writer
I have abandoned academia and become the Editor-in-Chief and Publisher of the pro-rate ezine Beneath Ceaseless Skies.
Email mixup Fabulously, this Scott’s editor emailed me her edits on one of his short stories, thinking it was mine… oops! (To be fair, as a writer, he’s no slouch.)

Thursday
Scott Andrews, the doctor
This version of me practices family medicine in New York, New York and, if the number of emails I get asking for appointments are anything to go by, is a popular guy.
Email mixup So far I’ve been emailed about broken knees, ear infections and pink eye, amongst others. Nothing really embarrassing yet though!

Friday
I work for Him
Somewhere in America, there is yet another Scott Andrews.

He’s very different to me, in that whereas I am atheistic to the point of near rabidity, he is a Christian. Not only that, he’s an active member of staff at a church.

I regularly receive email meant for him about Christian summer camps, campaigns to raise money for the rebuilding of Christian summer camps that have been razed to the ground by lightning strikes, and encouraging posts about the totals raised so far and how that proves God is looking out for them except, y’know, in respect of lightning strikes.

I normally just alert the sender that they’ve got the wrong Scott Andrews and we have a light hearted email exchange. No harm no foul, all very jovial.

In August last year, I got a job application intended for him. I’d read most of it before I worked out what it was.

This would-be church employee had filled in his application form dutifully, including his social security number, driver’s licence number, address, phone, DOB and, helpfully, had scanned in his actual signature at the end.

In fact, he had just handed me everything I could possibly need to steal his identity. Yikes. We had a friendly email exchange about the mixup and I sent him on his way.

As a card carrying disciple of the church of Dawkins, two things about the application form and email exchange that preceded it – which was helpfully copied in the email – signify that it had come from a land where the people are Not Like Me.

First, the email from the man inviting him to apply concludes with the sign off:

“Thanks for being willing to Serve Him!”

It’s the capital letters which make it seem like the dialogue of a satanic acolyte from a Hammer Horror film.

Secondly, in the section where the applicant has to detail his current employment he is asked to name his supervisor.

You know what he wrote there, don’t you?

That’s right: “God”

Which, given that he works for a software development company in Idaho, strikes me as unlikely.

Comment

1. ”... campaigns to raise money for the rebuilding of Christian summer camps that have been razed to the ground by lightning strikes”. Ha ha ha!
   — 0tralala    Feb 12, 11:48am    #

commenting closed for this article